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Most parents are responsible adults who want the best for their children. So why do coaches, umpires and sports teachers have to deal with so many crazy sports parents?
The first reason is that parents seldom realise the harm they can do in the name of love. Although most parents would never think of punching a coach or official, they don’t hesitate to abuse coaches about lineup changes or chew out officials over perceived poor calls. In their opinion they are “standing up for” their children.
The other reason is that in youth sports programmes, no provision is made for training parents. The overwhelming majority of parents aren’t aware that children’s active participation in games and sports has the potential to truly enrich and educate families. They haven’t been briefed on how to work effectively with coaches and athletes to create healthy and vibrant sports communities. Coaches don’t expect children to be successful in track and field sports without expert training and mentoring. So why should they expect parents to be supporting and understanding without the right kind of training?
Training parents for involvement with children’s sports education requires them to be given opportunities to:
• Participate in meetings in which guidelines for par-ents, athletes, and coaches are drawn
• Help establish grievance procedures
• Connect with athletes, coaches and other parents
• Become acquainted with their children’s sports interests and their skills grading
• Contribute to the team in meaningful ways
When parents are provided opportunities for sports education, coaches reap the benefit of:
• Transacting with well-informed parents who are committed to creating harmonious teams
• Parents who know how to provide effective support to their children, the team, and coaches
• Parents who have a clear understanding of the coach’s mission and objectives
• Parents who have realistic expectations of their children and the team
• Athletes who can frankly talk to their parents about parenting behaviour that interferes with their performance and enjoyment of their chosen sports and games
• Parents who know how to appropr-iately express their anxieties
• Parents able to support other team parents in managing common sports-parenting problems
• Parents willing to support team goals
• Parents likely to mobilise support of the larger community for sports programmes
• The creation of closely-knit teams which feel connected despite differences in socio-economic status, ethnicity, race, gender, religion, age, etc
Some years ago, my former Stanford teammate Dr. David Epperson and I developed and implemented a model for building supportive, vibrant team communities — parent-athlete-coach teams (PACTS) which we introduced in schools and youth organisations across the United States. The PACT model helps parents to become involved in meaningful ways and offers a new paradigm to build sports communities. It offers a proactive solution to most problems which adversely affect contemporary youth programmes.
The PACT model demands modest effort from all stakeholders in sports education — athletes, parents, and coaches. Additional investment in time and work is certainly involved, but the payoff is huge. When parents, athletes, and coaches start working as a team, it reduces stress and conflict, while enhancing the enjoyment, learning, and fun quotient of all stakeholders.
The PACT model equips parents with skills which allow them to support their kids, coaches, and team more effectively. The model
• Enables positive and supportive — not intrusive — parental involvement
• Encourages parents to reflect upon the consequences of well-meaning but misguided behaviour (e.g instructing children from the sidelines, pushing kids to play sports they don’t like)
• Challenges common sport-parenting practices which limit the performance of athletes and the sports community
• Allows parents, athletes, and coaches to understand their mutually supportive roles
• Sets and enforces standards through collective action rather than rules issued from on high
• Ensures all stakeholders are on the same page
• Encourages parents, athletes, and coaches to become active, responsible citizens in fashioning policies and practices that create meaningful sports experiences for children.
(Dr. George A. Selleck is a San Francisco-based advisor to EduSports, Bangalore)